Kim Wilbanks

Since it’s Father’s Day, I decided to share about my four favorite fathers. Two are gone but two are still here. The thing they have in common is that they have all influenced my life.

My Grandfather

If I had to choose one person who had the most influence on my life, it would have to be my grandfather, my mother’s father. I was his first grandchild and, according to my mom, he was smitten with me. From setting me in the middle of the dinner table in my little carrier as an infant to buying me any toy I wanted as a toddler, I was well-loved, some might even say spoiled. 

But that’s not why he was so influential in my life. He was influential in my life because he led me to the Lord. He and my grandmother drove across town every Sunday to pick me up and take me to church. After church, we would have a large family lunch at their house. I would stay at their house for the rest of the afternoon while my parents, aunts, uncles, and cousins went home. After Sunday night service, they would take me home.

In addition to being a spiritual mentor, my grandfather taught me about generosity and the importance of family. He gave much to many people. He gave generously to his church. And in addition to spending the major holidays with family, the highlight of our summer was our huge family reunion near his birthplace.

My Father

My dad was among the sweetest, kindest men I’ve ever known. I don’t recall him ever raising his voice in anger at me or my brother. He was quiet, soft-spoken, thoughtful, and sentimental. He had a creative streak too! If you know me, you might recognize some of those shared traits.

My dad loved the beach and spending time on the water. As a child, he taught me how to body surf and the names of the seashells we found scattered on the beach. We owned several boats growing up, which isn’t surprising since he spent four years in the US Coast Guard. I can’t think of Anna Maria Island without thinking about my dad.

I inherited my dad’s sweet tooth too. He was a master baker so we always had yummy desserts. I enjoy baking like he did. I just haven’t mastered his apple pie yet. 

This will be my second Father’s Day without my dad. I miss him. I wish I could talk to him again and maybe go to the symphony together a few more times. I wish I had not taken him for granted. I suppose anyone who has lost someone important to them feels the same way.

My Husband

Five years into our marriage, my husband became a dad with the birth of our son. He wasn’t too comfortable with him as an infant but as soon as he could walk, our son was his mini-me. He attended every soccer game from kindergarten to high school, even helping to coach one year. He was all in for the three years our son played football on our school’s inaugural football team.

Two years after our son was born, we had a daughter. He patiently attended all the dance recitals and school concerts. On family vacations, he humored her by going to the craziest tourist attractions like Wall Drug in South Dakota and Babyland General, where Cabbage Patch Babies are “born”. Our son wasn’t so fond of those destinations.

My husband is also one of the kindest men I know. He is very even-tempered, bringing a sense of quiet strength to our family. He has a servant’s heart. He is always doing things for me and for others. I rarely have to put gas in my car or clear the dinner table.

He is also wise and knowledgeable about finances. Our two children call him often to ask him questions or get advice about financial matters. Funny, they stopped talking numbers to me about the time they hit fourth grade.

My Son

My son taught me how to be a mom. I remember the day we brought him home from the hospital a little over thirty-five years ago. He fell asleep in his car seat on the way home from the hospital. We took the car seat out of the car, set it on the counter in the kitchen, and stared at this little human thinking to ourselves “Now what”? When he woke up a few minutes later, crying at the top of his lungs, we sprang into action and just started doing whatever every first-time parent does.

He and his wife are responsible for my new favorite role — grandmother! They have the cutest little boy and another on the way in a few weeks. I love being a grandmother, but I love watching my son be a dad even more. He’s a natural. It’s so much fun watching him with his son. They clearly love each other very much.

I know Father’s Day is different for each person. It’s my second Father’s Day without my dad, which makes me sad. I miss him. But I’m happy to be able to celebrate my husband’s role as a father and celebrate my son as a soon-to-be father of two!

Happy Father’s Day to all the fathers, step-fathers, grandfathers, uncles, brothers, godfathers, mentors, and friends who help fill the gap when a dad is missing. I hope you feel loved today.