Time To Make A Move?
“So when are you moving to Nashville?” That’s the question my husband and I most often heard in the spring of 2022 after we learned that we would soon be grandparents. Our son and daughter-in-law live in Nashville so, many assumed we would be moving north once the grandson arrived.
At the time, my parents were still alive. They lived the next street over from us, about a five-minute walk. Our usual response was that we wouldn’t go anywhere as long as they were still here. It simply would not make sense.
I’ll admit, I did get on Zillow and look at the homes and condominiums listed in Nashville and Franklin. (I’ve always dreamed of living in a historic location). But, that went no farther than a daydream. I pictured myself living close enough to pop in to see my grandbaby or lend my son and daughter-in-law a hand and still have an opportunity to volunteer at a local historical site, in costume, of course.
My father died before he could meet his great-grandson. He knew he was coming, we talked about it but he never got to meet him. My mother was able to meet him and visit with him a couple of times before she died last summer. It would seem that the biggest obstacle no longer existed.
Sounds like an easy decision, doesn’t it?
The Way Things Ought To Be?
I grew up in the same town, and, most of my life, the same neighborhood as my grandparents. My own two children grew up in the same neighborhood as their grandparents. I always thought it would be the same for me. I always imagined my own grandchildren living nearby.
There is nothing in the world I would love more than to be able to live in the same town as my grandson and any future grandchildren. I would love to be able to see him every week, to witness all the milestones. I confess I am slightly envious of my friends who get to watch their grandchildren regularly or who go on weekly outings with them or sit with them in church.
It would seem like an easy thing, to just pack up and skedaddle right out of town heading north. But things never are that easy, are they? There is much to consider in making a major change in one’s life.
All Things Considered
- If you’re married, you need to consider the viewpoint of your spouse. My husband is co-executor of my mom’s estate. He is at the attorney’s office weekly, if not more. It will be a while before everything is settled and I imagine it would be much more complicated from 700 miles away.
- My husband and I were both born in the town in which we currently live. He’s six years older than me so that’s a lot of years in one town. (I’ll admit, a change of scenery is tempting sometimes — the town, not the husband).
- We have lived in our house for thirty years. The thought of packing up thirty years of life makes my eye twitch and my pulse rate increase.
- I like my house, even though it’s too big and we should probably downsize.
- Most of my dearest friends live in the same town. I can’t imagine starting over.
- We love our church and our connect group.
- We are only an hour and a half away from the Gulf Coast, which we love — especially in the winter.
- All of our doctors are in town. (And at our age, that’s a bit of a line-up). To find new ones at this point would be quite the feat.
- Our kids may not even want us to live so close.
- What if we pulled up our roots and relocated only to have them move?
- And then there’s this — Nashville has snow (and tornados).
Our son sent us these pictures from their home in Nashville. I will concede, it looks beautiful; a winter wonderland for sure. But, it may surprise you to know, after viewing those pictures, that my first thought wasn’t “Oh, how I wish I were there”. Nope, it was more like “I’m so glad I’m in Florida right now”. The thought of all that snow and single-digit temperatures makes this Florida girl almost hyperventilate. However, I did enjoy the videos of my grandson enjoying the snow.
Who To Depend On In Life’s Major Changes
But, seriously, my husband and I have talked about it a lot in the past few years. We do wish we lived closer to our children and we would love to be able to spend more time with them and our grandson, but we just don’t have peace about moving. I have spent much time in prayer and I believe that God knows the desires of my heart and will answer those prayers. I sense, right now, that he is telling me to be patient, to wait on Him. He has a plan for my life, an assignment for me to complete and I need to trust that He will work it all out in just the right way. He doesn’t really need my “better ideas”.
So, that’s where we are now. We will continue to travel to Nashville for snatches of time with the grandson, meet our kids there or in the mountains and hopefully start a more routine FaceTime schedule to connect. And always, we will pray for God’s direction.
Of course, all of that may fly out the window the first time I hear “Grams, when are you and Grandaddy gonna move to Nashville?”
How about you? Do you live close to your adult children and grandchildren or far away? Did you or would you consider a move to be closer to them? What would help you make that decision? I would love to know.
Kim Wilbanks 