Why We Cry
Tears. They come unbidden when we are sad, angry, frustrated, or afraid. But they also appear when we experience overwhelming joy, awe, or relief. Sometimes tears come at the silliest times, like when you see a moving commercial on television or watch a movie. You know this is true if you’ve ever watched a Publix commercial or the last scene in Homeward Bound.
Sometimes tears don’t come, even if you are bawling on the inside.
I haven’t cried as much as I thought I would this past year since my mom died. Sometimes, I think I’m simply numb. But, as we get closer to the anniversary of her death, I find my raw emotions are very near the surface. Tears come easier.
In my last blog post, I wrote about a roller-coaster week of highs and lows. This past weekend I experienced something similar. The only difference was that the events happened in one day.
A Time Of Remembering
We started our Saturday off at a memorial service for a friend who had recently passed after a short battle with cancer. He wasn’t a close friend, the kind you socialize with, but my husband and I would call him a friend. He was a lifelong resident of our community, so we saw this gentleman around town at many functions. My elementary school bus route went right by the home where he grew up with his siblings. Our kids went to the same school, so when we saw each other, we filled each other in on our children and grandchildren. He was such a friendly guy, always with a smile on his face. He lit up a room—not unlike my mom.
As we sat in the crowded memorial service, listening to the music and the eulogies from his sons, I felt tears stream down my cheeks. This man was so well-loved. Maybe it reminded me of my mom’s passing a year ago. Like I said, my emotions are on the surface right now.
It was more than that, though. This gentleman was only five years older than me and a couple of years younger than my husband. That was sobering.
When you are in your 40s and 50s, the end of life seems so far in the future. When you’re in your 60s, you realize how little time remains. I realized his wife was one of the first of my peers to lose their husband. Who would be next? When will it be my turn? I’m sure they had plenty of plans for the future with their family.
I grieved for his grandchildren, too. I loved my grandfather so much and I was blessed to have him until I was 23. He came to our wedding. My heart broke for these little ones who would not experience life with a beloved grandfather.
It wasn’t all sad, though. There were moments of laughter in the reminiscing. More importantly, he was a believer in Jesus Christ. We found encouragement in the belief that he is in heaven now because of his faith.
My husband and I left the memorial service and drove home to change our clothes and our mindsets. After a quick bite to eat, we drove an hour to attend the wedding of a young man who is very special to us; a young man we have known for at least twenty-five years.
A Time Of Celebrating
The groom spent the first ten years of his life in an orphanage in Romania. His parents adopted him and brought him home to our hometown. Although he is a couple of years older than our son, they placed him in the same classroom and they became fast friends. Their friendship solidified in middle and high school band and youth group at church. Their friendship is still strong, nearly two decades after their high school graduation.
My son was the best man at his friend’s wedding. He is such a great guy, full of integrity and faith. I have prayed for him for years that God would send him someone he could enjoy life with. God answered my prayers and rewarded his patience.
For the second time that day, tears welled as I watched this young man, who I have known since he was a boy, watch his beautiful bride walk down the aisle to join him. Then, after a moving ceremony where they pledged themselves to each other, walk back down the aisle with faces full of joy. The feeling of joy was palpable.
We loved celebrating with them at their wedding reception on the fourteenth floor of a hotel. The view was magnificent and matched the feeling of elation. It was also fun to visit with our son and a couple of other guys from the teenage years. They are all grown up now; married with children.
Emotional Extremes All In A Day
On the way home, my husband and I talked about the extreme range of emotions that day, from mourning with friends who had lost a loved one to rejoicing with a young couple starting out on their journey of life together.
King Solomon knew what he was talking about.
For everything there is a season, and a time for every matter under heaven:
a time to weep, and a time to laugh:
a time to mourn, and a time to dance; Ecclesiastes 3:1,4
We just didn’t expect it all on the same day.
Kim Wilbanks 