Has anyone ever accused you of something you know you didn’t do? I have, and I have learned an important lesson from the experience.
It all started the first weekend of February.
A Weekend Together
When you live in an empty nest, and your children and grandchildren live hundreds of miles away from you, you have to be creative in order to maintain your relationships. I am always trying to figure out ways to see my family, so I suggested a quick weekend get-together. Our two kids are in the middle of home remodels, so we decided on a neutral location that wouldn’t require too much time in the car for our young grandsons.
We ended up meeting in Birmingham, the Magic City, and we had a magical weekend. Although my daughter and son-in-law live in Birmingham, they are currently in an apartment complex until they can move back into their house. We booked an Airbnb condo and a one-bedroom guest apartment in the same complex, so we were in close proximity and enjoyed our own space at the same time. Its immense size was a bonus: I easily met my daily step count walking between apartments.
Birmingham was a blast! My daughter planned a kid-friendly weekend full of fun and food. On Saturday, we went to the McWane Science Center, which was a tremendous hit with the two-year-old. We visited the Birmingham Zoo the following day. Elephants and giraffes impressed, but the giant hissing cockroach did not. In between, we ate delicious food from some of favorite kid-friendly spots, including a meet-up with some of my daughter and son-in-law’s friends and their kids.
I learned something interesting from the zoo guide at the elephant enclosure. There were three elephants, all male. Forty-two-year-old Bulwagi was larger than the other two, who were in their teens. The guide told us they put the younger elephants in with the more mature “gentleman” to learn their manners. She said the younger elephants often act like 8-year-old little boys, tussling, sliding down mud hills and such. Bulwagi keeps them in line and teaches them proper social skills, preparing them for their move from Birmingham to another zoo. Fascinating.
As usual, our time together ended way too soon, and we all headed home, our memory banks filled with more wonderful memories.
A False Accusation
Two weeks after we returned home, I had a message from the Airbnb host informing me I owed $499 for the damaged microwave in the unit we had rented. Wait, what?! Impossible! I checked with everyone to see if they had used the microwave and noticed anything was wrong. They hadn’t. Since we ate every meal out, we barely used the kitchen and certainly not the microwave. I honestly thought it was a scam.
I have spent the past week responding to messages, writing letters, gathering documentation and fielding phone calls to resolve this situation. I am positive that we did not damage the microwave. Circumstances make it feel like a false accusation. As it stands, it is in mediation and Airbnb will decide who handles the damage.
I have stewed over this many hours. It’s no fun being falsely accused.
Another Accuser, More Accusations
One morning, as I was in the shower, a thought hit me. Here I was, spending hours trying to clear my name, pushing back against this false accusation. But how many times do I allow the enemy of my soul to hurl accusations at me and I just sit there taking it? Sometimes even believing it. It makes no sense. If I can stand up and defend myself from a false accusation by an Airbnb Host, why am I unable to do the same with the father of lies? Why don’t I shake my fist when he bombards me with his lies?
- Who do you think you are trying to write?
- You can’t do that; you’re not smart enough.
- They don’t want to talk to you because they don’t like you.
- She’s only pretending to like you.
- He doesn’t have time for you.
- You’re a terrible mom, grandmother, human being.
The negative self-talk is so cruel, but how do we stop it?
Evidence To Prove Innocence
In my ongoing issue with Airbnb, I have made copies of receipts and emails to support my cause. I have collected as much evidence as possible to prove I am not responsible for the damage they claim I caused.
I can do the same thing with the lies from the enemy that trouble me. I can focus on the evidence that negates all of his hurtful accusations.
- When I believe lies about my writing, I can look at the emails from the editor and publisher complimenting my work.
- When I believe lies about how people feel about me, I can look at the notes full of encouraging words from dear friends and family.
- Most importantly, I can turn to God’s word and read what he has to say about me.
I have loved you with an everlasting love.
Jeremiah 31:3
There is therefore now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus.
Romans 8:1
The thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy. I came that they may have life and have it abundantly.
John 10:10
I’ve learned I need to defend myself against lies from the enemy with the same zeal I’d apply to a microwave dispute.
How about you? Have you ever been falsely accused of something? How did you deal with it? What about the lies we tell ourselves, the lies whispered to us by the enemy? What do you do to combat those? I’d love to hear.
Kim Wilbanks 