Kim Wilbanks

I love period movies or television shows like Pride and Prejudice or Downton Abbey. I especially enjoy the scenes where there is a ball or a country dance. The intricacies of the dances are mesmerizing. Couples bow and curtsey then the dance begins. Everyone knows the steps. They move in unison, either in parallel lines or squares — a turn here, a step there. Partners change and change again. By the end of the dance, everyone is back with their original partner.

I thought about this type of dance on a recent trip I made to New York City with three friends.

The Travelers

Earlier this year, a dear friend asked me if I would like to go on a quick trip to New York with her and two other women from our church.  The last time I had travel plans to NYC was in March of 2020 — we all know too well what happened then. My planned trip in 2020 with a friend and my daughter crumbled right in front of my eyes. So, yes! I was eager to make the trip I had missed.

I have traveled often with my friend who invited me but not with the other two women. I looked forward to spending time with them outside of the snippets of time we get at church. There’s simply not enough time.

The day before we left, I realized what a unique quartet we were. Each one of us is in a different decade of life:

• The young mother of four little boys in her thirties.
• The mom in her forties about to send her firstborn off to college.
• The mom in her fifties who just celebrated the marriage of her firstborn — the second of her two sons to get married.
• And me — in my sixties and looking forward to becoming a grandmother for the first time in a few months.

The four of us were in different stages of our lives, different stages of motherhood. But, our weekend was not unlike one of those English country dances in the movies — minus the music, costumes and male dance partners, of course.

Talking Our Way Through New York

We talked a lot. You might say non-stop. (Can you guess what show we saw?)

• We talked as we walked around the city
• We talked as we ate our meals
• We talked on the subway and as we walked across the Brooklyn Bridge
• We talked as we walked to Chinatown then enjoyed 30 minutes of blissful silence as we had foot massages while listening to peaceful music and the gentle spring breeze from the open window
• We talked as we walked the High Line
• We talked as we waited for our show to start
• We talked as we walked through Central Park
• We talked to God as we prayed for the different people He put in our path

We talked about everything from cute shoes and purses to our children (ranging in age from less than a year to thirty-three years old). We talked about grace and faith and the church. We talked about marriage.

Enjoying the Dance of Conversation

The cool thing was that each of us had a one on one conversation with everyone else at some point during the weekend. And it happened quite naturally, organically. It was nearly imperceptible until we talked about it as we were heading back to the airport. We were all aware and pleased by the dance of our conversation.

What a blessing it was to spend time with these three women.  I always enjoy spending time with my friend but I’m so thankful that I got to know the two younger women on a deeper level. I even had one of those “you too? I thought I was the only one” moments.

We are different and in different stages of life but the four of us forged a strong bond in a short time. How did we do that? I think the key is our common faith in Jesus Christ and along with that, our love of travel and adventure. I must also acknowledge, having husbands who are gracious enough to encourage us to spend time with friends is invaluable.

We were only gone for a little over sixty hours but in that short amount of time, we had such a good time and stored up a lot of good memories. We already have tentative plans for our next trip. But that’s another story for another time.

How about you? Have you ever experienced that easy dance of conversation with a group of friends, maybe while on a trip?