Kim Wilbanks

Exploring Your Interests

Just about every blog post or book you read or podcast you listen to about life in the empty nest encourages you to explore the things that interest you in this new phase of life. Without children in the house to care for, you have time to do other things, things you may have done before you had children, or new things that have sparked your imagination.

I started writing this blog almost ten years ago. (Being the procrastinator that I am, I thought about it for at least two years before I actually did it). Both of my kids had graduated from college, taken jobs, and relocated to their new towns. Neither had married yet so there was still the hope that they might come back to their hometown. 

The early years of the empty nest were full of travel. We made many trips to Birmingham and Nashville as well as to other places where our son and daughter happened to be. For example, we really enjoyed visiting our daughter and son-in-law twice during the fifteen months they lived in Edinburgh. As our grown kids married and settled into their lives of work, friends and, for our son, children, I noticed a subtle shift. Just as my husband and I are settled into our lives, they each have become firmly settled where they are. They are definitely not coming “home.”

That, along with the deaths of both of my parents in a little over a year, has solidified my role as an empty nester. It was time to explore some more. 

My husband and I still love to travel. We enjoy our time at the beach and in the mountains of North Carolina when it gets too hot in Florida. We love spending time with our grown kids in Nashville, Birmingham, and wherever we might meet up. We are involved with our church at home and our church at the beach. But, I was ready for something else, something where I would be around other women in similar phases of life and maybe even stretch myself a bit.

Trying Something Old But New

I have recently added two very different things to my activity schedule.

I love anything historical. I love traveling to historical places. Nothing would excite me more than to be able to dress in period clothing and work as a docent in a living history museum. World and U.S. History were my favorite subjects in school, so much so, that I spent six years of my life as a U.S. History teacher.

It took a while, but I finally became a member of the Daughters of the American Revolution. I have known for years that two of my great aunts and a cousin were members, so tracing my lineage to a patriot wasn’t an issue. I had just never gotten around to it — that whole procrastination thing. I finally filed my application last summer and became an official member last fall. 

So far, I have attended one meeting, the annual Christmas luncheon, and one of the monthly field trips. Our chapter has a book club and I have read two of the books, Revolutionary Mothers by Carol Berlin and A Land Remembered by Patrick D. Smith. They try to tailor the field trip to the book club book so the field trip I went on was a step back into the old Florida that Smith wrote of.

Going Back In Time

On a recent Saturday, I met a group of ladies and a couple of their husbands at one of the oldest cemeteries in our county, Oak Hill Cemetery in Bartow, Florida. The cemetery was established in 1848 and there are burial sites from the 1860s, including some of Florida’s pioneers like Jacob Summerlin. Also, of interest, was the grave of a nineteenth-century preacher, Rev Jeremiah M. Hayman, whose grandfather was thought to be an officer in the Revolutionary War. I realize these dates don’t seem that old if you’re from the northeast or Europe, but for central Florida, that’s pretty old.

From there, our little group drove for about an hour to the Cowboy Camp at Lake Kissimmee State Park. We got to visit with an 1876-era cowboy “residing” at the camp. Long before the high-rises along the coast of Florida and the theme parks of Orlando, these cowboys rounded up cattle from St. Augustine across and down the state to ports on the Gulf of Mexico, like Ft. Myers. These Cracker Cows or Scrub Cows are the descendants of cows brought to Florida by the Spanish. The cattle barons sold them to Cuba for gold.

It was a fun way to spend a beautiful winter day in Florida — under the live oaks, surrounded by palmettos and cows with Lake Kissimmee in the distance.  On the drive back to Bartow, through pastures and along orange groves, the two of us who were native Floridians talked about how this was the real essence of Florida, particularly central Florida. But, that sounds like another blog post. 

Finally An Athlete?

I live on a golf course. A couple of years ago, they announced that the unused tennis courts near the entrance of our neighborhood would be converted to Pickle-ball courts. We were officially entering the Pickle-ball craze sweeping the country. Naturally, my mom immediately gifted me with Pickle-ball paddles and balls. I guess she thought that if I wasn’t going to be a golfer, I could at least participate in something sporty.  I realize now that my very athletic mother must have been a little disappointed to raise a most un-athletic daughter.

The Pickle-ball courts were built and opened last October with great fanfare. It is a state-of-the-art facility for the sport. I was out of town and then there were the holidays so, it has taken me a while to dive in. I finally had my first exposure to Pickleball a few days ago and loved it. I took one private lesson, played with a lovely (and patient) group of ladies, and have another lesson scheduled.

It was good to be outdoors on a beautiful, sunny morning connecting and reconnecting with a group of women and getting some exercise. The lunch with my friend and fellow Pickle-ball-newbie afterward was enjoyable too. Who knows, next week I may stay for cards.

It is good to learn new things, participate in new activities, and stretch ourselves. It definitely beats moping around in my empty nest since many of my hobbies like reading and crafting are solitary activities. Don’t get me wrong, times of solitude are important, for example, Bible study and prayer or meditation, but, it feels good to add some things that are more social to the mix.

How about you? If you’re an empty-nester, have you tried any new activities? Have you added some new things to your more open calendar? How have you changed in your empty-nest life? I’d love to know.