Kim Wilbanks

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Grandparents: the parents of parents. They come in all shapes, sizes, colors, and temperaments. While storybooks and songs paint a stereotypical picture of a grandparent, there is a very wide range in what being a grandparent entails.  I know grandparents who raised grandchildren as their own and grandparents who are completely estranged from their grandchildren. I know grandparents who see their grandchildren several times a week and grandparents who have to travel to a distant country to see their grandchildren. There is a wide range of descriptions when you consider the word grandparent.

My husband and I became grandparents three years ago this month. It is a role we absolutely adore. We love it so much, we are planning a move to drastically reduce the 626-mile gap between us.

My History With Grandparenting

I grew up in the same town as my grandparents, so I saw them weekly. When I was fourteen, my family moved into the same neighborhood as my grandparents. My mother’s three siblings lived in the same neighborhood, so my cousins were like brothers and sisters to me. My grandparents, especially my grandfather, had a profound influence on my life. He and my grandmother picked me up and took me to church every Sunday for years. My grandfather’s influence is the reason I am a believer in God and His son, Jesus.

When my children were preschoolers, we moved into a house down the street from my mom and dad. They interacted with my parents almost daily (when my parents weren’t traveling). They were an integral part of our lives. We spent a lot of time together. My parents both passed recently, so my two children knew them well into adulthood. I love that they were at each of my children’s weddings.

I always thought my grandparenting experience would be similar. I always thought I would live close to my children and their children. But then they went to out-of-state colleges and ended up staying in their college towns. We managed the distance well until the grandchildren arrived. The longing to be close to them was strong.

An Enlightening Lesson

Almost two years ago, when my first grandson was just a few months old, I attended a seminar at our church at the beach called Grandparenting With Grace led by Dr. Larry E. McCall. It changed the was I looked at being a grandparent. My biggest takeaway from that seminar was that being a grandparent was more than “fun and funds”, but that it was a mission. 

Woah. That opened my eyes (and my heart). I had never thought of being a grandparent in that way, but it makes sense. It is our mission to be supportive of our children as they raise their children.

Dr. McCall started out by saying that Grandparenting is a ministry established by God. We are passing the baton to the next generation and it is something we should take seriously. He taught us many practical and spiritual ways we can do that.

If we want to help raise a godly generation, we need to know what we’re talking about. According to Dr. McCall, you can’t give what you don’t know.

Here are some things he shared that we could do with our grandchildren:

• Read about God’s greatness, goodness, sovereignty, provision and grace in the Bible
• Notice God’s greatness in the world around you and share it with them
• Talk to your grandchildren about what you’re reading and noticing
• Talk about God’s goodness in front of and with your grandchildren
• Ask them about what they learned in church, Sunday School or Vacation Bible School
• Worship with them
• Pray with them
• Serve with them
• Demonstrate generosity
• Snuggle up with them and read books that will point them to Jesus

As Dr. McCall states in his book, we need to “intentionally seize the opportunity to help our grandchildren know about God.”

He also talked about three powers we have; the power of prayer, the power of a godly example and the power of “with”. (That was my favorite part). His book devotes an entire chapter to how to pray for your grandchildren. And being a godly example for them is self-explanatory.

I loved what he had to say about how important it is to be with your grandchildren—to spend intentional, meaningful time with them. It means budgeting time and money to make it happen. It may mean passing up personal pleasures or even moving to be closer to them. (Hmmmm, that sounds familiar).

He talked a lot about how different the world is now, how people are much more mobile. It may not be feasible to live close to your children and grandchildren. Fortunately, in our times, technology can bridge the gap. Dr. McCall shared that while some of his grandchildren live in the same town as he and his wife, others live several hours away. They call those children that live farther away every week and talk to each one of them for a few minutes. It’s their way of staying connected.

Of course, all of this is done while honoring the boundaries set by their parents, our children. We need to respect our children as the primary spiritual mentors of our grandchildren. Our purpose is to love our children and support them as they raise their children, our beloved grandchildren.

Do You Want To Know More?

I could go on and on about this seminar and what I learned. I have pages and pages of notes and my book is full of highlighted passages. But that would make for a very long blog post. If you would like to find out more about this idea of Grandparenting as a ministry or mission field, I’ve included some links below.

Now, please excuse me while I continue packing for my mission field.

You can find out more about Dr. McCall’s ministry at www.wljministries.org. Check out the seminar I attended on youtube.com/@wljministries. His book, Grandparenting With Grace, Living The Gospel With the Next Generation, is available on Amazon. It is a compact book with plenty of spiritual and practical advice for grandparents. This is a great resource for soon-to-be grandparents as well as already grandparents. I hope you will glean as much wisdom from it as I did.